Mistaken Self-Confidence in American Culture by J.J

Mistaken Self-Confidence in American Culture

Christmas must be a holiday that everyone looks forward to, just as I do. I usually hang out with my friends on Christmas because, unlike America, Christmas is for friends or couples in Korea. However, I had an unusual Christmas last year for two reasons. It was the first Christmas after my wedding and I was in the U.S. My husband’s company gives a Christmas party every year, and I went to the party with him. Before going, I pictured myself at a Christmas party that I have seen in movies, and it made me so excited. Unlike my expectation, the Christmas party was not as gorgeous as Christmas parties seen in Hollywood movies, but people at the party were so kind. They patiently listened to me and tried to speak slowly for me. Despite their kindness, there was something that made me feel uncomfortable, which proved that I was definitely Korean.

First of all, the way of greeting and calling people’s name, regardless of their age or position, made me feel uncomfortable. When my husband and I arrived at the party, my husband introduced me to everybody, and they greeted me with hugs. Even though it was a very nice way to express “welcome”, I felt uncomfortable whenever they did that because, in Korea, we rarely hug somebody we just met. Instead of hugging, we usually bow as a greeting. However, this was not the only thing that surprised me. When my husband introduced his co-workers to me, he called them by their first names although they were his seniors. I used to work in Korea, but I never called seniors by their names. It would be considered very inappropriate in Korea. There were titles for certain positions such as a manager or director, and I had to call them by the titles, not names.

Second, the way of sharing food was foreign to me. When we shared food in Korea, we ate the food with our own spoons out of a common plate. However, as eating culture was westernized, we started to put a small amount onto our individual plates when we shared food. I thought this was a perfect western style of sharing food. That was why, at the party, I grabbed the spoon with the main meal to put the food on my plate as soon as it was placed at our table. Embarrassingly, people at the party shared the food differently. People put a suitable portion of the food on their plates and passed the food to the next person so that the next person also could put the food on their plates. People kept doing it until everybody had the food. I learned later that it was called “family style”.

Third, I was surprised that people did not mind when some people left the party, even superiors did not mind when inferiors left. As time went by, people started to leave. They just said good-bye to people around them and left the party whenever they wanted. When my husband and I were about to leave, I asked him if he needed to tell his boss that he was leaving, but he said it was not necessary at all. Looking back to my work experience in Korea, when a party ended, I had to leave with other people, or at least I had to ask my senior if I could go first. If I left without asking, it would be considered very disrespectful to seniors. Therefore, I felt like I was doing something wrong although my husband said that it was unnecessary.

Right after we got home, we changed our clothes and went to bed, but I could not go to sleep although I was very tired. Instead, I was thinking about the party in my head. I thought that I was used to American culture because I was exposed to it for my whole life by Hollywood movies, Starbucks, and iPods. However, the Christmas party proved that I was wrong. There are tons of other American cultural practices I do not know and need to know. Some people say that you have to know the culture first if you truly want to learn another language. Into the point, I have an advantage since I am here. I will keep learning not only English but also American culture until I fully understand them both.