Two ways of Expressing Emotions

If you are coming to visit your friend, what do you think she or he would do to welcome you? Perhaps you would receive a big hug or just a hand shake. That is a very interesting question to consider. Each nationality has its ways of expressing itself to the world. Some bow, some say “Allah blesses you” and some nod. When I arrived in America, I really felt the diversity of manners and customs. Chinese people always express themselves by connotation gestures and circumlocution, but American people often show their enthusiasm, through open and direct speech. Although the way of expressing emotions in China is different from what is customary in the U.S., I still keep trying my best to get over these difficulties.

I try to accept both the enthusiasm of American greeting and also the quiet greeting of Chinese that shows the same manner. Actually, when I met my new friends here, I was frightened by them. For example, Alex and Katie are my friends in Chicago, and they often give me a warm hug or a kiss on the cheek when we meet. However, I always feel a little bashful because I was not used to doing the things like this to my best friend in China, even though she is a girl. On the other hand, although I was used to experience the Chinese manners of shaking, or waving hands when they meet each other, I go along with my U.S. friends’ outgoing habits because I like these new manners, and I want to get used to them. I go along with these new customs because a common phrase in my culture is “when in Rome do as Romans do”.

In addition to getting used to greetings, I also need to get accustomed to American behavior around love. I have seen American lovers kiss vehemently or embrace like conjoined twins in public, such as on the street, in restaurants, cinemas, bus stops or parks. I once felt strange about that because there are only a few instances of this kind of embrace in China. If Chinese lovers want to be affectionate, they will go to a secluded place. The American lovers’ actions made me think that they had lost a sense of shame. After a period of time, I began to understand it maybe part of their culture, but I won’t get too close with my boyfriend in public, because even though Americans don’t care about others viewing them, but Chinese people do.

Nevertheless, the hardest type of expression I had to adapt to is the attitude towards sex. America is an opened and free society in which every person has human rights to do whatever they want. As a result, American people can discuss any topic, including sex, without being embarrassed. Even the websites, magazines and movies about sex are not restricted. On the contrary, Chinese people are not allowed to see movies or buy magazines about sex. Because sex related websites are usually censored by the government. Therefore, Chinese people would not talk about sex in public, and are always ashamed to face it directly. If a person gets a sexually transmitted disease in China, she/he must keep silent in order to guard his or her reputation. The first choice must be the doctor of the same sex. Based on my cultural background, I have the same attitude about sex as other Chinese people, because it is hard to change in a short time. However, I hope I could have the right mindset to deal with it in the future.

We ought to receive both hugs and hand- shakes when someone welcomes us, because every immigrant has a unique way to express what comes from his or her country. Although we should remember the culture and manner of our motherland, we must try to blend ourselves into American society. We can learn more about cultures or manners form other countries, so we could get well along with the person who has different background without embarrassment. No matter how difficult adapting appears, we must work hard to embrace the differences.